I felt guilty. Momand I hadn't exchanged twenty words with each other in the last week orso. I found myself hoping she was alright and vowed that I'd spend sometime with her tomorrow. I felt both free and alone at the same time.Alone, but not lonely. As I contemplated the distinction I smiled deepinside.I played with Shandy for about half an hour and prepared her a specialdinner. She seemed very happy to have my company. I put on a pot ofcoffee and sat at the table while I waited for it to provide enoughliquid to fill my cup. I grabbed my coffee and my purse and made my wayinto the backyard. I was expecting silence. Instead I was met with thelaughter and music of parties going on all around me. Instead ofabsorbing the feelings, the sounds actually depressed me. I had toremind myself that I was alone by choice.I finished my coffee and smoke and decided to head for the boardwalk. Itwas just after six o'clock as I made my way towards the madness andmayhem. I was searching for something. I laid out my black bathing suit to go to the pool in and then laid out my pink nighty along with some drinks to help loosen us all up. As I waited for my husband to return I stared out the window at the pool where our fun would hopefully begin.[/image] When my husband returned he quickly changed into his suit and we headed down to the pool bar. There we met with Julian who was very eager to have gotten my husband’s call. Julian was a friend we had connected with online but until today had only spoke with in chat rooms. Now that we were in Florida we both decided to take a chance and reach out to our online friend. The three of us sat at the pool bar drinking and chatting until my husband and I locked eyes and we both knew we should move to the next level. I grabbed Julian by the arm and whispered into his ear, “Come with me upstairs”. He nodded and got up, reaching for his wallet. My husband told him to go and he settled up with the bill. When my husband came.
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